December 2011
1 post
The Borrower
Once again, I emptied the bathroom of your facial creams, facial scrubs, exfoliating cleansers and perfumes. You have a lot of them, and I thought to myself, these are all going to burn your face but I guess the fact that you use them proves that they do you good. Some might have been here for ages, the packaging were chipped and torn off on sides and corners. The words telling how...
November 2011
6 posts
(sept. 23, 2010)
Four months after one of my boring birthdays, I found a hamster just outside our front door. It was just lying on the marble floor, snuggling on its own body and didn’t even move even if I almost stepped on it. The little adorable pathetic creature seemed to be dumped by another pathetic being, I thought to myself.
I took an empty fish bowl, put some soft fresh grass on the...
(excerpts from Oct. 16)
What if I am actually in front of you, holding your hand and telling you stories instead of just being a hushed voice scribbled in cold paper?
I would ask if we can go for a walk.
And we would hold each other’s hand strolling on the sidewalk while smoking the pack of cigarette we’ve bought in Manila. We’d talk about friends back home and what they might be doing at this...
Exterminator
this is all indirect contact for you are the ghost in flesh and bones who keeps me hidden in your borrowed closet of creams and lingerie. you are the kind voice that holds back my reality and makes me believe it is all a dream and i, an invisible stranger, waiting when you will have the courage to move on. your kindness hurts me, you are the beautiful face i waste hours for while...
January 2011
3 posts
“i tried to kill myself with a lady bic. a pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturizing strip. and it took me forever just to get through my skin… i’m just tired of being invisible.” —Deb, Empire Records
December 2010
7 posts
your dark-skinned lover
i had never bought you a bunch of yellow chrysanthemums or even a single white rose never cared to go home on the 40th day or dared to visit your tombstone. it would only remind me of how cold you were when you were in existence that is somehow limited to sitting on the front porch, drinking a glass of gin and smoking your favorite cheap brand of cigarette.
in the mid of...
what if i only exist in the pills that pick you up,
an illusion in the peak of euphoria,
a vivid ghost of your li’l blue ecstasy, slowly dying as the night fades…
will you still remember me?
you’ll be my fave blue pill
12202010
10/16/2010
if i was there…
i would tell you it is too cold for me and i feel like my bones are going to crack one after another—a partly true alibi so i could slip my freezing feet between your legs. i would ask you nonsense things like what color do you think my name is? and why do i have this idea that you’d say pink? but i’d tell you it feels more like black and you’d remind me again that...
November 2010
7 posts
playing alice
i’ve been big, i’ve been small, i followed you into a rabbit’s hole. and as i was on a fall i realized i couldn’t fit in your heart at all. so i went to all the balls that you’ve been. covered my body with silk and satin. danced all night and smiled like it meant a thing, damn i even tried to sing. i learned about all the fetish you had so i cut and...
watching the smoke from yellow bulbs of tireless streetlights and somehow it matches the tip of the cigarette that glows orange and red but fails to give warmth.
somehow, the rain trickles and tries to kiss the lifeless ugly face of the ground filled and coated with cement and asphalt and yet they blend together creating an awkward rhythm.
does the weather deliver these contrasting abstractions...
October 2010
6 posts
my borderline lover
shall i write you another note today? one more sick revelation of the beast handsomely dressed in the finest human skin, when you can always in fact adore me in the grandest masquerades i had prepared for you, and you alone. being everything you wanted— a rock band bassist, a sensible writer, a sentimental artist or whatever you wanted just so to match your everchanging...
September 2010
4 posts
she sits in one of the tables in the middle of the bar, her face slightly lighted by the pale yellow bulbs that surround us in this crowded place with the annoying voices of (un)happy people filling up the emptiness inside her. she takes another sip from the bottle of beer that has been accompanying her for the last two hours. her hair flows gently from her shoulders to almost down to her waist...
August 2010
15 posts
I awoke, only to find my lungs empty Through the night, so it seems I’m not breathing And now my dreams are nothing like they were meant to be And I’m breaking down I think I’m breaking down
(Sleeping Sickness, Dallas Green)
uninspired
i lit up a cigarette and you did the same while you are waiting for your coffee to be served. i took a puff as you assured me that there are no third parties or existing commitments. all i can do was look at you to silently say “and then what?”
you gazed down as you said the last audible line for me before i lost half of my consciousness, “i’m sorry, i tried but…” and what was...
Cold Hearts
yesterday… i kissed you madly and crushed your bones as i held you tightly in my beastial arms and felt your weakening breath on my chest. i placed a knife on your left breast and cut through your ribs. i took your heart out and placed it inside my own so they would beat together. tonight… i will whisper in your ear the harshes lines you could ever...
This is for you it is my full heart it is the book I meant to read you when we were old Now I am a shadow I am restless as an empire You are the woman who released me I saw you watching the moon you did not hesitate to love me with it I saw you honouring the wildflowers caught in the rocks you loved me with them At night I saw you dance alone on the small wet pebbles of the shoreline and you...
“When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to...”
– Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies (via kari-shma) (via lovebot) (via jenfaulkner) (via asillylovesong) (via somuchfordepth)
(via interrobangag)
“I’ll give you an exact definition. When the happiness of another person becomes...”
– Jubal Harshaw to Ben Caxton, Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein (via ratmanprimate)
“This is not my country. And I cannot laugh aloud as I want. I have to observe the etiquette, culture and traditions of this society. I cannot sing my favorite song when I’m happy, although I can weep when I’m angry or lonely. I am alone in this bus, together with seven Japanese. I want to hum a melody. Nobody is stopping me, but this is not my country. This is my second week as...
July 2010
5 posts
